


Hotline

by fablewriter



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, Glee - Freeform, Hotline!Blaine, Klaine, Klaine AU Meeting, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Phone Calls & Telephones, innocent!Kurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-04
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 23:39:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/830170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fablewriter/pseuds/fablewriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A request from Tumblr :: can you do an AU meeting where Blaine works for a phone sex hotline and Kurt calls, but instead of phone sex they end up talking about silly things? lots of laughing and innocent!kurt. Check it out!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hotline

“ _Hello?”_

“ **What’s your pleasure?”**

“ _My…what?”_

“ **Come on, handsome. You know what you want from me. For starters, what’s your name?”**

“ _Oh…my name is Kurt. What’s yours?”_

“ **What do you want it to be?”**

“ _Wait? Do we pick names for each other?”_

“ **Whatever you want, handsome. What do you want me to be named?”**

“ _Well, what’s your real name? Maybe I’ll like that better than what I make up.”_

“ **Sorry sweetness, I can’t tell you my real name.”**

“ _But I have to tell you mine?”_

“ **No. Is your real name Kurt? Lots of guys just make up some odd name like Antoine.”**

“ _Really? Is that weirdest name you’ve ever heard?”_

“ **Not even close. Give me a name.”**

“ _I…um…well what do you want to be named?”_

“ **That’s…not how it’s supposed to go. Is this your first time calling, sweetness?”**

_"Oh God! Is it really that obvious?”_

“ **Hey, no, don’t freak out.”**

“ _I can’t believe I’m doing this. You’re bored with me right now aren’t you?”_

“ **No, no.”**

“ _I’ve never done this before. I’m still a virgin! I can’t believe I just said that out loud.”_

“ **I think it’s sweet.”**

“ _You do?”_

“ **Be honest with me. How old are you?”**

“ _I’m…twenty.”_

“ **How old are you, really?”**

“ _Seventeen.”_

“ **You sound like a nice guy. Why are you calling a place like this?”**

“ _I…I really don’t know. There’s not much here for me in Lima Ohio. Wh-why are you working for a place like that?”_

“ **Would you believe me if I said I was bored with my life and this was the only crazy thing I could think of?”**

“ _Are you kidding me? That’s really sad.”_

“ **I got you laughing though. I can understand how you feel though. I grew up in Westerville Ohio. Not exactly a wide variety for the fabulous gay man.”**

“ _Tell me about it!”_

“ **I like hearing you laugh. Can I ask if Kurt is your real name?”**

“ _I like hearing you laugh too. And I’ll answer that question if you tell me your real name.”_

“ **Sweet and smart. I like the sound of you. My name is Blaine.”**

“ _Hi, Blaine. My name is actually Kurt.”_

“ **Hi, Kurt.”**

“ _Look I know you have a job to do and I really don’t want to get you in trouble.”_

“ **You’re not abandoning me now are you, sweetness? So long as I’m on the phone nobody will know.”**

“ _Don’t they record the calls?”_

“ **I think so. I’m not worried about it. It’s not like this is my day job. Quite frankly, I think the idea of trying to turn someone on over the phone is a lot more of a challenge than I’m willing to handle.”**

“ _What’s the weirdest thing someone wanted you to…well role play or talk about?”_

“ **So far…this guy wanted me to pretend I was Harry Potter and he was Draco Malfoy. That was actually kind of interesting, considering I’m such a Harry Potter nerd.”**

“ _Oh I love Harry Potter. There’s this musical parody on youtube…”_

“ **I love that! Did you see the newest one? It was their final performance for the Harry Potter fandom and I was in tears!”**

“ _So was I! Don’t get me wrong I love all of their performances but seeing them do one final Harry Potter show…”_

“ **Tell me about it. My friends think I’m so weird.”**

“ _Mine too.”_

“ **But who cares? Nerds always stick together.”**

“ _That is so true.”_

“ **What else interests you? Other than calling a sex line and talking a devastatingly handsome man about Harry Potter?”**

“ _You mean devastatingly handsome men?”_

“ **Ouch! Sweetness that hurt me!”**

“ _And you’re laughing about it so get over it.”_

“ **Yes sir.”**

“ _I like fashion and musicals.”_

“ **Fashion has never been my forte. What’s your favorite musical? And you better have the right answer, sweetness.”**

“ _Moulin Rouge.”_

“ **Sweet, smart, and good taste in musicals. Careful, I may fall in love with you.”**

“ _It’s a curse I’ll just have to live with.”_

“ **Such modesty. I like a good modest man.”**

“ _I like a man who can make me laugh. And the compliments help too.”_

“ **I’ll keep that in mind.”**

“ _May I ask how old are you, Blaine?”_

“ **How old do I sound?”**

“ _I don’t want to offend you.”_

“ **Are you saying I sound old?”**

“ _No. No. Nothing like that! I just meant…”_

“ **I’m messing with you, sweetness. I’m actually twenty-one. I just turned twenty-one last month.”**

“ _Oh! Well, happy belated birthday! I hope you did something exciting.”_

“ **My brother took me out to get drunk. It was horrific the next morning. I found a tiger in my bathroom.”**

“ _Liar.”_

“ **How do you know I’m lying?”**

“ _Because you’re confusing one hangover with another.”_

“ **All right fine. I don’t drink so my brother brought the movie over and we watched it and pigged out on pizza and ice cream. I’m not a very exciting guy.”**

“ _Well, I would have brought over every Disney classic I own, which could probably fit in an entire suit case and cook you dinner.”_

“ **You would have done that for me?”**

“ _Any chance I get to cook something and watch Disney of course.”_

“ **I’m gonna have to hold you to that.”**

“ _I guess you’ll have to visit me in Lima then.”_

“ **Normally I would say there was no chance in hell I would go back to Ohio, but for you, sweetness, I would make the exception.”**

“ _Or I could go where you are.”_

“ **Would you come to New York for me, sweetness?”**

“ _In a heartbeat. I would love to see New York.”_

“ **I’ll remember that.”**

“ _I hate to cut this short but I have to go. Good thing my dad doesn’t see my cell phone bill.”_

“ **I would hate to get you in trouble.”**

“ _I think…it would be worth it.”_

“ **I would feel guilty though.”**

“ _I don’t want you to feel that way. You’re too nice of a guy.”_

“ **You really are sweet.”**

“ _So are you…Blaine…is it inappropriate to talk to you…not through the umm…the…sex line?”_

“ **It’s against the rules.”**

“ _Oh.”_

“ **But then again, I’m not exactly following the rules now. I’m supposed to turn you on.”**

“ _I think you did something better.”_

“ **Really?”**

“ _Definitely. I should go.”_

“ **Goodnight, sweetness.”**

“ _Goodnight, Blaine.”_

————-

**Unknown Number:**

**I probably just stepped over my boundaries but I wanted to take that chance. Hi Kurt. It’s Blaine. Was this okay?**

_Kurt:_

_Yes. It’s okay. How did you get my number?_

**Blaine:**

**The caller id at the hotline. I quit there too.**

_Kurt:_

_Oh. I hope I didn’t cause trouble._

**Blaine:**

**No sweetness. I promise. And are you sure this is okay? I kind of feel like a creepy stalker now.**

_Kurt:_

_It is a little stalkerish but I won’t tell anybody if you won’t :)_

**Blaine:**

**Deal. How was your day?**

_Kurt:_

_I’m not sure you want to hear about my day. It was a long one and filled with drama._

**Blaine:**

**I want to know everything about you and your life. Anything you are willing to tell me. If that’s all right.**

_Kurt:_

_Really?_

**Blaine:**

**Really really.**

_Kurt:_

_I don’t know what to say._

**Blaine:**

**How about starting off with how your day was.**

_Kurt:_

_It’ll take a long time to explain everything. I hope you know what you’re getting into._

**Blaine:**

**I don’t but I am willing to find out if you are.**

_Kurt:_

_:) I am._


End file.
